Can we talk about the fact that I am so bad with submitting things before a deadline?
Within two weeks, it happened twice, and they both were essays. The first one was unintended. I had to write an essay out of the presentation that my previous blog post was based on. First of all, can we talk about the maximum amount of words allowed? If I have more to say than the maximum, then please let me do so. However, I had my first draft ready on the day of the deadline, and I was on the maximum already. A friend gave me feedback, and that included me having to change basically the whole essay. I, who leaves everything until the last minute, decided to do this half an hour before the deadline. Having finished exactly at the time of the deadline, I submitted my final version one minute past the deadline. I repeat: ONE MINUTE PAST THE DEADLINE. Don’t ask me how or why because I already hate myself for doing this. After e-mailing with the lecturer, which made me even more anxious, he accepted my submission. I did not dare to look at my essay again, in case I made a stupid mistake. The good thing is that the result was a 7.0 and I’m still wondering to this point how and why.
The second essay was a biggie. We had to work together in pairs, and although I was working with a really good friend, I hate group assignments, and I shall explain the reasons. The deadline was on Friday the 27th of May. It was my birthday on the 28th, the day my parents would have a funeral; my dog died that Monday; my grandpa had surgery on Tuesday; my anxiety got really bad; I felt sick on Wednesday; and I’m probably still forgetting things. Having had the first essay handed in one week before this deadline, I didn’t have much time. We already had a topic we wanted to write about, but I, being an INFP full with ideas, was a bit deliberate about our subject. In the end, we went with my friend’s plan, though to this point I’m still not wholly content with our choice. Anyway, she had already finished her part, whilst my part was still lacking. I did have the information, I did know what I wanted to write about, but I just couldn’t write anything down. It was Thursday when I had a breakdown between two seminars and I realised I couldn’t take it any longer. I needed a break. I asked for an extension, which was accepted, and everything seemed fine. I finished the whole essay, with the finishing touches of the combined parts. However, when my friend was walking through the hallway, she heard the lecturer saying that one of the extensions was ridiculous. I still hope to this day that it wasn’t ours, or else I feel really bad for my friend. The result was a 6.5, which is what I would probably have given ourselves as well, even though I was secretly hoping for a higher grade.
So, in the end, everything was all good and I’ve learned my lessons, and this has made once again clear that I cannot work with the pressure of deadlines. My suggestion would thus be to abolish them. For once and for all.