The picture is put there because it shows two things. On the one hand, it shows the exciting stage where The Vamps was about to perform last Saturday. On the other hand, it reflects emptiness, as there is no band playing. This is exactly how I’m feeling right now, happy and empty at the same time.
Even though my life has been quite hectic for a long time now, I’ve been trying to get it more organised. It’s getting there, and I realise that I am more often happy, although I do also have bad days. Two weeks ago, I felt like I was on a roll, everything was going really well. After a week, already feeling that something wasn’t right, I had a couple of down days. I wanted to book a holiday with my friends, but we ended up with nothing, I had a mock oral for English proficiency which didn’t go well, I didn’t like my volleyball practice, and so forth, and so on. My overall anxiety got quite bad as well. I wanted to take my medicine for my mock oral, but I knew it was better not to, in case I had to drive, and I didn’t want to be dependent on that poison. I was going to drive to Amsterdam (it’s a 2-hour trip) that weekend for the concert with a friend who cannot drive, but by that time, I would have had my driving licence for only one week, which was a bit scary to me. I hate the down days, and I wish I never had one ever again. I know that is basically impossible, and it would also be a bad thing. You have to have the bad days to be able to have good days. ‘Good’ wouldn’t exist if there was ‘bad’. The bad days should make us appreciate the good days and approach life positively.
After those few down days, things got better again, and I did manage to drive to the concert and have a good time there, and I only drove the wrong way once. However, I am having down days since the day after the concert, and I really dislike it. I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s so difficult at times. I’ve got plenty of reasons to be sad, but they shouldn’t overshadow my happiness that lies deep inside me. I’ve seen my favourite band live for the first time, seen two good friends in the last couple of days, and at uni it’s going relatively well. So even in the bad days, there are still small positive things to be found, but you have to notice them and make them stronger feelings than the bad things altogether.
My main point is that even though down days will always exist, don’t let them dominate your life. There will always be good days, and you have to appreciate them, and if you’re feeling good, you have to realise it. Realise that you’re happy, and spread that positivity, as it may help other people feel better, too. Don’t take the good days for granted, be grateful and don’t let the bad days get too down on you. Remember, after the rain, the sun will reappear.