Feeling Like a Failure and Overthinking Is Good

Writing this, I am not quite in a good mood. This afternoon I’ve lost a volleyball match with 4-0, which was horrible. The opponents were quite the opposite of sportsmanlike. They called us adolescents. Well, EXCUSE ME OPPONENTS, BUT I AM DEFINITELY NOT GOING THROUGH PUBERTY ANYMORE. This was after the match was finished, but it really upset me. And I’m not even talking about the biased referees. I shouldn’t worry about it too much, but I do because it really offended me and ruined my day. This is what you sometimes get within the sports world, rude opponents, while you and your team are trying to play a fair game.

And now I’m at home, overthinking everything, feeling like a failure. Not only because of this match, but also because of university. So far I got 15 points out of the 30 I could get, and I’m one semester in. This means that I probably should be working quite hard to keep up with everything and get ready for my resits. The fact is, I’m doing quite the opposite. I’m writing this blog post and I’ve watched a whole bunch of YouTube videos, while I should be reading articles, books, and poems. I am quite excited to do the latter one, but knowing that the boring stuff has to be finished first, I’m not getting anything done at all.

Overthinking literally includes everything. From wondering about why I have pain to questioning if I really should move out and live on my own. At the end of the day, overthinking isn’t necessarily bad, for it can be useful at times. Because you think so much, you create many ideas, and there could be a good one amongst it. For me right now, I’ve just come to the conclusion that I’m going to do the things that I like first and then spend the rest of my time on the boring and difficult stuff, so I’ve done at least something. Thinking about it in this sense, it has led to a better mood, so I’m going to sleep well tonight hopefully!

See ya! x